Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The End Approaches and I'm Scared

It's been a while since my last post, but with good reason. :-) I'm almost done with the novel and can say with all honesty (and heart-pounding dread, which I'll get into later) and joy that I'll be write the last words sometime next week. :-)

Now, I'm sure you're thinking, "Dread? Why dread?"

Well, I'm not exactly sure, to be honest. I think it has something to do with actually being on the verge of finishing something that I've poured myself into for almost a year. I started writing (seriously writing, not playing around or starting and stopping) this novel on the 24th of February 2010; I participated in a writing course that really helped me and showed me that I *could* do this and also cemented the fact that I *love* doing this; and my girlfriend had to hear me say countless times, "I'm struggling, I just can't focus"... And now it's almost done.

And not only that, I'm terrified about the ending. This is (definitely now) the first book in a trilogy (I hear your sighs of "Another trilogy?!") and even though I know what the last scene entails, I'm scared that I won't know what to write when I get to that last paragraph. My God. The Last Paragraph. O.o

And then I wonder, did Stephen King go through something similar when he was about to finish his first novel? Did Robert Jordan? Did MD Lachlan or Jon Sprunk or Patrick Rothfuss or George RR Martin? Is this fear, this rising anxiety normal? Or am I just being an absolute idiot?

What, exactly, is there for me to be afraid of? Still not sure, although I think I may have an answer for myself in a couple of years, or after I'm published and have a backlist on the shelves. Who knows, perhaps that fear never leaves. I find myself hoping that it doesn't, though. You see, this, writing a novel and being practically finished with it, being on the verge of achieving what I've been chasing for so bloody long, is absolutely *massive* for me. I probably wont be the same gut I am now when I finish the novel next week. I'll have achieved one of my dreams and that is so monumental, so *huge* that it scares me.

I know for a fact that I'm going to celebrate, though. :-) I'm going to drink and be merry and bsk in my own victory, but until then, I guess I'll just knuckle down and make sure that I don't step in front of a bus or trip and break my neck... ;-)

One last thing from me (until the Post of Posts next week):

Myself and two good friends, fellow writers Lood Du Plessis and Jani Grey have started something new and exciting: Writers in Training. :-) It's a blog that will focus on us talking about writing, what we've learned and what our individual process is - hopefully we'll help someone out there who is also an aspiring author. :-) We launched the blog on Sunday, and on Monday Lood kicked things off by introducing himself via a self-interview. My post when up today. :-)

If you know of someone struggling with writing and looking for advice and help along the journey, please let them know about our endeavour - you can find us on Twitter here, on Facebook here, and here's a direct link to the blog. :-)

Catch you all next week,

Oh, and the next chapter (mine) of Crumbling Ruins will be written this weekend, as will a Star Wars Expanded Universe FanFic story; I'll post it here as soon as it's done. :-)


  1. The fear is normal. Dream big, write bigger. And always have another dream waiting when you achieve the current one. Publishers want their authors to grow their talents. You can't do that unless you're ambitious and hard-working. I'll be awaiting news of the birth of your last paragraph. Good luck!

  2. Thanks, Curt. :-) Ambitious and hard-working, check! :-)

  3. Well done you!! I recently finished my piece that I started roughly the same time as you. All this time I've known exactly where I was going and how it was going to end. You envision this huge climax at the end, can picture the explosive scenes, and then when you finally get there you feel frightened that the words you write just aren't going to do it justice. Can you make it sound explosive enough?

    That's what runs through my mind when I near the end of something. It's normal, I think - at least I

    Anyway, congrates again on nearing the end, and I look forward to hearing that you've finished it.

  4. Thanks! :-) Yep, still a bit scared and the nerves are driving me nuts - but a major character in a very crap situation last night, thought I knew how to get him out, but then realized I hadn't thought it through enough and had to try and save the scene! But yep, almost done, might even hit the fabled 100K tonight. :-)